It was just another Wednesday. Even when Jorge said he was taking Amaya to the vet, I didn't feel worried or stressed about it…
Earlier this year she started developing a few cysts on various parts of her body. We didn't think much of it because Akira has had maybe a dozen of them over the years and they always end up disappearing on their own. Plus, back in February, when the first one (the one on her tail) started growing, her primary vet performed an abstraction, and we had understood that the cyst was ruled as benign. See? Nothing to worry about!
The one on her neck was starting to frustrate us because it grew on Amaya's favorite spot to scratch, which also happens to be Ajali's favorite spot to hold on to with her teeth and shake around when they play rough. Every few days, the cyst would start bleeding on account of one of these two scenarios and it was getting close to impossible to heal on its own.
That's why Jorge took her in. In my head, worst case scenario, we would pay a few hundred dollars to get it removed.
I came home from work and something was off, Jorge said he took Amaya to another clinic to get a second opinion, and they diagnosed Amaya with something called MCT - Mast Cell Tumors. My brain did not register "cancer" right away. Maybe it was too much to take in, but I just thought, ok - they are not cysts, they are tumors. But it is ok, because they are benign. Remember? They did an aspiration in February. She is fine. They will remove the "tumors" and that will be it.
A couple of hours later, I started reading through the paperwork they sent Jorge home with. Mast Cell Tumors = cancer. CANCER. Cancer has always been scary to me. A real possibility for any of my loved ones. I've had people close to me lose loved ones due to cancer. I've partaken in #f*uckcancer campaigns. I've read some of the literature. None of that matters. None of it prepares you for when it hits this close to home. Amaya, who seemed perfectly fine just minutes ago. Our crazy clown. Amaya was no longer just fine. She had cancer. This was not just another Wednesday. This was one of the scariest days of our lives.
The logical side of me continued reading through the paperwork. Trying to process that surgery would not be the end of this "inconvenience". It was the beginning. After her 5 tumors were removed, they were to be sent to pathology to be graded. Mast cell tumors are graded by levels I through III.
The information varied slightly by website but this is basically what each level represents.
Grade I: Occur in the skin and are considered benign. Although they may be large and difficult to remove, they tend to not spread to other areas of the body. Most mast cell tumors are Grade I.
Grade II: Extend below the skin into the subcutaneous tissues. Their cells show some characteristics of malignancy and their response to treatment can be unpredictable.
Grade III: Invade areas deep below the skin, are very aggressive, and require more involved treatment.
I kept researching and reading but I couldn't find anything that helped me understand WHY this was happening to her. There seemed to be a consensus around the medical community that this type of cancer was common on dogs but I couldn't find the "WHY".
I changed approaches and searched for "natural remedies for MCT in dogs", which is when I stumbled across Dr. Lena McCullough's, DVM, blog - Path with Paws. More than 10 years ago she renounced her standard medical practice for a more holistic approach. Using acupuncture, nutrition, and Chinese herbs to treat and cure her patients.
What I read in her blog made sense to me and also helped explain a possible "why". In one of her posts she explains that MCT:
…is a cancer that often arises if there is impaired blood flow to the skin. Without good blood flow the immune system can not find and destroy the cancer cells that arise. These dogs are often prone to reoccurrence, not necessarily because tumors spread, but because the underlying disease process still exists…
Amaya, as with most pit-bulls, has long suffered from skin allergies and has been on a daily pill - Apoquel - for a couple of years now. Lacking blood flow to the skin could potentially explain her bad skin allergies.
Dr. McCullough has an Etsy stored called Kingdom of Basil, where she sells supplements/Chinese herbs that she prescribes to her patients. Specifically Xue Fu Zhu Yu Tang which she writes:
…helps promote blood flow to the skin so the immune system can reach mast cell cancer. In my experience, this formula helps to reduce tumor size, occasionally shrink the small tumors completely and prevent formulation of new mast cell tumors…
Without waiting for Amaya's pathology results to come back, I placed the first order.
I also read about many doggie parents who had switched their babies to raw/homemade food and knew that we could also do that for ours. I knew that my husband, being the sweetheart and badass chef he is, would jump on board and start prepping their meals. I felt guilty because we had flirted with the idea to switch them out of commercial dog food (even if we have always bought top of the line ones for them) and into raw food for a couple of years now but never started.
We could barely sleep that night, and before I knew it we were dropping her off at the vet the following morning for her surgery. My body was physically shaking as I struggled to read through the paperwork through blurry eyes and steady my hand enough to sign. Amaya on the other hand seemed relaxed, happy to be with her humans but that quickly changed when the vet tech tried to take her into the back on her own. She wouldn't budge. Amaya is a sweetheart but she's also a 65 pound, ridiculously strong , "puppy-minded", stubborn pit-bull. Jorge had to walk with the vet tech and I had to turn around and start walking the other way. I almost sprinted out of the office, my eyes so blurry I could barely see where I was going. I needed to go straight outside before I lost my head in front of everyone at the vet's office. We hugged in the parking lot, Jorge was being so strong! Why couldn't I be that strong?
In my heart I knew Amaya was going to be ok. I knew it because there simply wasn't another alternative. She could NOT be not ok. When Akira had that horrible accident, she came back to us from the dead. Not exaggerating. That was precisely what happened. Even the vet performing the surgery said something bigger than her saved Akira's life. That "something" was my and my loved ones doing. Their prayers and my need for her to be ok brought her back to life. This was 11 years ago. In my heart I knew this had to happen againfor our beloved middle child. Even knowing she had to be ok, the guilt was overwhelming. Our baby had been sick for months and I had done nothing about it but shrug it off to - they will disappear. Just like Akira's had. Now she was walking into a surgical room to have five tumors, not cysts, removed. She will be scared, alone, and not understanding why we left her in that terrifying place that must smell of hundreds of dogs and cats and chemicals and pain and blood and death.
She came home that night and for the next three days she would vomit within 4 to 5 hours of being fed her new diet of raw food. I knew there was a chance the anesthesia was causing the vomiting, I knew it could also be caused by the pain/anti-inflammatory meds she was prescribed, but I also knew it could be us making her sick by changing her food all of a sudden instead of easing her into it.
The guilt grew unbearable and I was almost ready to give her regular food again when Monday came around and with it brought zero vomiting! We introduced the new supplements, which had already arrived in the mail for her and with her tummy full, she slowly started looking/feeling much better.
Because of my own personal experience with alternative medicine, we scheduled her to see a vet here in SA who has more of a holistic approach to her practice, and offered both acupuncture and chiropractic treatments in her clinic. We are taking her in this morning!
On Tuesday Jorge called me at work to let me know that her pathology results were in and she was diagnosed with MCT Level II LOW. I wanted something else, I wanted the results to say - JUST KIDDING, they are cysts, or Stage I - you guys are in the clear, take a breather. I didn't want a Level II diagnoses but understood that at least she was classified as a "LOW". Whatever the hell that meant had to be better than a Level II HIGH (if there's such a thing).
I forwarded the results to a friend who happens to be a vet, AND who just so happens to have moved to SA less than a monthago. Life is mysteriously beautiful like that. Not only did she respond right away but she shared the results with an oncologist who, based on the "low" diagnoses, coupled with what they call - clean margins - on her tumors, did not recommend radiation or chemotherapy. She stayed on the phone with me, talking through possible next steps, what she would do if she wanted to make extra sure the tumors had not spread to her lymph nodes. We talked about the acupuncture and chiropractic treatments to stimulate more blood circulation to her body/skin. She also explained potential side effects of continuing Amaya on her allergy meds (she has been on them for a couple of years now) due to the way the medicine may suppress her immune system, putting her at a higher risk of fighting the reoccurrence of tumors on her own.
She stayed with me on the phone until I felt the lightness that hope brings. Until I felt like a good guardian who had a solid plan. As solid as a plan one could have in these types of scenarios. She and I had not talked in years and yet there she was, a familiar and empathetic voice on the other end of the line causing tears of faith to fall down my face.
It was not just her…during these last couple of weeks tons of family and friends messaged/called/FB us - sending love, prayers, advice, courage, and compassion. It was humbling and encouraging.
I've come to understand that your vibe does attract your tribe. And looking back at the days since her diagnoses, I've been surrounded by sweet, empathetic, badass women (and a few men as well) who have been checking in on my family and me. Making sure we knew we were not alone. I've been reading a book lately that recommends finding beauty in all situations in life. In every moment of every day. This was the beauty among my hell. These extraordinary women. My tribe.
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